JCS-001 I Am Not a Serial Killer - Milestones

Two versions: pages and locations. Very close. In the interests of keeping references short, I've generally kept to what's on the given page or at the given location.

Plot Turn 1 is out of place. John's reaction to Rob and Brooke's reaction to John's reaction are pinch point material. John's realization that the killer is a "demon" at Pinch Point 1 is the real Plot Turn 1. John's resentement of his mother's attentiveness qualifies as pinch point material in the psychological subplot.

In a post in The Technical Fiction Review, I'll discuss this further. For now, I'll just remark that the first stage (Hook, Inciting Incident and Plot Turn 1) needs work. The hook is fine, even vaguely suggestive of the supernatural possibility, but at the Inciting Incident, we need a strong suggestion that a supernatural killer is on the loose. Genre should be firmly established by the time we finish the first eighth of the narrative.

The first stage should have read something like this:

Hook: A man has been brutally killed and mutilated by something with claws.

Inciting Incident: The killer may have been supernatural.

Plot Turn 1: The killer was a demon.

Page Calc Pages Milestones Quote Range MaL Range MiL Range MiH Range MaH
End page 13 Hook Something has torn Jeb Jolley's insides out and left him in a puddle behind the laundromat.     21.0625 29.125
271 44.375 Inciting Incident Mom bans John from the mortuary. The coroner calls to say Jeb's remains are on their way for embalming. 28.25 36.3125 52.4375 60.5
First page 76.75 Plot Turn 1 Rob Anders bumps John from behind. 60.625 68.6875 84.8125 92.875
13 109.125 Pinch 1 John resents his mother's attentivness. John realizes the killer's MO fits a "demon". 93 101.0625 117.1875 125.25
Prepages 141.5 Midpoint Ms. Parker tells her class that the bodies of the two missing policemen have been found. 125.375 133.4375 149.5625 157.625
12 173.875 Pinch 2 John refers to Brooke as "it". 157.75 165.8125 181.9375 190
Page total 206.25 Plot Turn 2 (204) The demon tells its taunter that it can never be stopped. (206) Mr. Bowen's body is discovered. 190.125 198.1875 214.3125 222.375
259 238.625 Resolution John binds Kay and takes pictures to send to the demon. 222.5 230.5625 246.6875 254.75
  271 Conclusion The killings have stopped. The killer hasn't been found. 254.875 262.9375    
Av Distance              
32.25              
Min Range              
8.0625              
Max Range               
16.125              

 

 

Location Calc Locations Milestones Quote Range MaL Range MiL Range MiH Range MaH
End location 50 Hook Something has torn Jeb Jolley's insides out and left him in a puddle behind the laundromat.     159.4063 268.8125
3551 486.75 Inciting Incident Mom bans John from the mortuary. The coroner calls to say Jeb's remains are on their way for embalming. 267.9375 377.3438 596.1563 705.5625
First location 924.5 Plot Turn 1 Rob Anders bumps John from behind. 705.6875 815.0938 1033.906 1143.313
50 1362.25 Pinch 1 John has has just watched Mr. Crowley kill a man. 1143.438 1252.844 1471.656 1581.063
Prelocations 1800 Midpoint The principal tells Ms. Parker that the bodies of the two missing policemen have been found. 1581.188 1690.594 1909.406 2018.813
49 2237.75 Pinch 2 Max tells John he thinks John would have killed more than six people if he'd been the Clayton Killer. 2018.938 2128.344 2347.156 2456.563
Location total 2675.5 Plot Turn 2 John tricks Mr. Crowley into believing he was trying to run away from his mother. 2456.688 2566.094 2784.906 2894.313
3502 3113.25 Resolution John binds Kay and takes pictures to send to the demon. 2894.438 3003.844 3222.656 3332.063
  3551 Conclusion The killings have stopped. The killer hasn't been found. 3332.188 3441.594    
Av Distance              
437.625              
Min Range              
109.40625              
Max Range               
218.8125              

 

 

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