JCS-001 I Am Not a Serial Killer - Milestones
Two versions: pages and locations. Very close. In the interests of keeping references short, I've generally kept to what's on the given page or at the given location.
Plot Turn 1 is out of place. John's reaction to Rob and Brooke's reaction to John's reaction are pinch point material. John's realization that the killer is a "demon" at Pinch Point 1 is the real Plot Turn 1. John's resentement of his mother's attentiveness qualifies as pinch point material in the psychological subplot.
In a post in The Technical Fiction Review, I'll discuss this further. For now, I'll just remark that the first stage (Hook, Inciting Incident and Plot Turn 1) needs work. The hook is fine, even vaguely suggestive of the supernatural possibility, but at the Inciting Incident, we need a strong suggestion that a supernatural killer is on the loose. Genre should be firmly established by the time we finish the first eighth of the narrative.
The first stage should have read something like this:
Hook: A man has been brutally killed and mutilated by something with claws.
Inciting Incident: The killer may have been supernatural.
Plot Turn 1: The killer was a demon.
|Page Calc||Pages||Milestones||Quote||Range MaL||Range MiL||Range MiH||Range MaH|
|End page||13||Hook||Something has torn Jeb Jolley's insides out and left him in a puddle behind the laundromat.||21.0625||29.125|
|271||44.375||Inciting Incident||Mom bans John from the mortuary. The coroner calls to say Jeb's remains are on their way for embalming.||28.25||36.3125||52.4375||60.5|
|First page||76.75||Plot Turn 1||Rob Anders bumps John from behind.||60.625||68.6875||84.8125||92.875|
|13||109.125||Pinch 1||John resents his mother's attentivness. John realizes the killer's MO fits a "demon".||93||101.0625||117.1875||125.25|
|Prepages||141.5||Midpoint||Ms. Parker tells her class that the bodies of the two missing policemen have been found.||125.375||133.4375||149.5625||157.625|
|12||173.875||Pinch 2||John refers to Brooke as "it".||157.75||165.8125||181.9375||190|
|Page total||206.25||Plot Turn 2||(204) The demon tells its taunter that it can never be stopped. (206) Mr. Bowen's body is discovered.||190.125||198.1875||214.3125||222.375|
|259||238.625||Resolution||John binds Kay and takes pictures to send to the demon.||222.5||230.5625||246.6875||254.75|
|271||Conclusion||The killings have stopped. The killer hasn't been found.||254.875||262.9375|
|Location Calc||Locations||Milestones||Quote||Range MaL||Range MiL||Range MiH||Range MaH|
|End location||50||Hook||Something has torn Jeb Jolley's insides out and left him in a puddle behind the laundromat.||159.4063||268.8125|
|3551||486.75||Inciting Incident||Mom bans John from the mortuary. The coroner calls to say Jeb's remains are on their way for embalming.||267.9375||377.3438||596.1563||705.5625|
|First location||924.5||Plot Turn 1||Rob Anders bumps John from behind.||705.6875||815.0938||1033.906||1143.313|
|50||1362.25||Pinch 1||John has has just watched Mr. Crowley kill a man.||1143.438||1252.844||1471.656||1581.063|
|Prelocations||1800||Midpoint||The principal tells Ms. Parker that the bodies of the two missing policemen have been found.||1581.188||1690.594||1909.406||2018.813|
|49||2237.75||Pinch 2||Max tells John he thinks John would have killed more than six people if he'd been the Clayton Killer.||2018.938||2128.344||2347.156||2456.563|
|Location total||2675.5||Plot Turn 2||John tricks Mr. Crowley into believing he was trying to run away from his mother.||2456.688||2566.094||2784.906||2894.313|
|3502||3113.25||Resolution||John binds Kay and takes pictures to send to the demon.||2894.438||3003.844||3222.656||3332.063|
|3551||Conclusion||The killings have stopped. The killer hasn't been found.||3332.188||3441.594|